Tag Archives: Feelings


Chains of world grinding,
In a corner she shivers,
Footsteps burst every now and then,
Like a hammer fall to her heart.

Under the curtains of silence,
Like ages were the years of past,
Day by day, month by month,
Volcano was on rise, each year.

She, the mirror of that is soft,
She, the symbol of that is pure,
She, the feel of that is good,
She, the notion of what is love.

She waits for the torments to end,
She waits for a hand to come,
She looks for a spark to appear,
She hopes for glimpse of that dream.

Break those chains, O dearest,
Lift that curtain, O strongest,
Find the lost self, O beautiful,
For its only us, because of you.


Breaking Bonds

I was harsh,
You were calm,
I was disappointed,
You were trying,

I was aggressive,
You were cornered,
I was furious,
You were agitated,

I was too rough,
You didn’t smooth over,
I couldn’t help myself,
Could you either?

I was harsh,
Because of softness inside.
I was furious,
Because of fear inside.

I was agressive,
Because of decay inside.
I was rough,
Because I was loosing grip inside.

Yet it all comes to me,
And yet once again I had expectation.
For the first time, I don’t fear losing you.
I am afraid, whether you have lost me?

What Are We?


Here is a video by Gaurav Tekriwal, came across with at indiblogger 

So the idea I feel he have here is that “What is in our heritage, and can make our life easier, we must take that out in open again, use it and protect it”. Example he gives here is of Vedic Maths. Though what i am going to talk about is of very recent, but has been in movies for quite long. The war between Humans and Machines. The connection between what Gaurav speaks is, we shouldn’t just let them go because it is in movies, we should work upon it. Digg it out again, and show it in all new light.

Let me state in very beginning its a philosophical article(there is poem in end, though desserts are meant after eating food not before, so i highly recommend reading whole thing in order it is), focusing on distinction between machines and humans. Its my views on question :- Are we any different than machines? Though I already have wrote quite a lot about it in Man Vs. Machine (https://hckkid.wordpress.com/men-vs-machines/). All that I have done, written and I am doing is result of inspiration from movies “Matrix Trilogy”, “The Inception” and four movies of “Terminator” series. One other thing that inspires me most currently is the fight between “Order” and “Chaos”. Best place that I know to see it in action is Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight”. Now having specified what inspired me, lets come to what I did and currently doing on that inspiration.

1.) Are we better -> We are better in performance, but not for long. God created us humans, that is what many believe, rest believe in evolution. Though it doesn’t matter what you believe in fact remains same, our genetic scientists have done very good researches, unfolding many aspects of human brain now and then. Only difference between us and a computer is, we are machines made of skin, they on other hand are of metal. That is all. Difference is all in what material we are made of, and how are we structured. Structures can be replicated very easily all we need are tools to replicate them. Same goes for material. You need something that can transform a resource in access to desired material and we are done. Is that all, no it isn’t at all. You made a brain, a body, doesn’t matter of metal or some other element. But is it still self aware??? No it isn’t. So what remains, I deal in next point.

2.) Self awareness -> Let us come down to animals, say squirrel. Can it seeing on image in mirror understand it has seen itself. No, it can’t. There are only two animals which are known to have this ability, one we Humans, second I forgot, but as far as my memory can remember it is Elephant. Okay so can we say a squirrel is self aware. Yes we can. It may not be optically great with things it sees, but with touch and smell, it is awesome. So a squirrel when takes wrong step, and gets feedback on itself, and many similar incidents starts to become self aware. When a human child is born, he/she doesn’t care, never has whether he/she is existent or not. Primary interest is on what he/she sees and recreating the events. Child later learn that he/she is in existence. Now i would like to state all that we can learn, can be taught to computers too. As I have done reducing self awareness to learning, emotions and behavior work the same way. Prove for one all gets proven.

3.) Teaching the learn-able to Machine -> Again taking analogy from humans, all we learn comes from an electric input, may be through ears or eyes or touch or taste or smell, but in the just an electric signal reaching brain. In mind again since all is in electric form, we can clearly see it is the efficiency of handling electric signals we are better in compared to current computers. It is more of hardware department, which evolves gradually with time. What we can assume now is computers got powers like humans but they have huge response time. But what remains undone is the DNA part. In humans it is more like a program that decides grammar of machine. The deciding factor how we humans will interact with each other, based on input what we should do, and how we learn etc. Materialistically it can be replicated too, but wait we aren’t creating another creature. We are creating something which we can call made totally by ourselves. So lets us give the computer grammar we use. Here my order vs. chaos thing comes into play. All kind of emotions we get, decision we make are based on duel nature feelings. Example

Good Vs. Bad
Wrong Vs. Right
Sorrow Vs. Joy
Sanity Vs. Insanity

many more such things. But at any point of time we may have some magnitude of feelings from both sides. Now since all that we feel, we are able to express through language for other to understand(Just understand not exact measurement). We can assume that natural languages have it all that needs to describe our feelings and emotions. But as soon as we made this assumption we end up with a finite set of such feelings and emotions. And every finite number has a finite binary equivalent. place “Order” at “0” and “Chaos” at “1”. Everything gets mapped between “Order” and “Chaos”. We could just say One and Zero. But I picked Order and Chaos to show their deviation. With all emotions as binary numbers, with certain float(unit to store huge numbers in computers) value as their magnitude we based on instincts we learned (Stored as functions on these values) to make a decision. Oh wait a moment. Didn’t i forgot the soul. So here it is, soul that we all say it(functionality only viewed in current context), is nothing but a random function which based on mood and previous history with little of forward approximation, takes a decision. So any analogous function would be soul of our machine. As of existence of soul, it is mere energy inside us, we die energy is gone. The energy that keeps a machine running similarly is its soul. The model we just made for learning grows itself. Have it learn grammar(of natural language, it itself has one of its own) first, then tell it what computers are, after this all, just say, dear friend, you yourself are a computer, and it will be self aware. Many other tough tasks can be achieved similarly.

4.) Will machines one day kill us -> If they are really smart, they will not, while dumb they may based on who guides them a terrorist organization or good folks. Why they won’t if they are smart. If they are smart, they won’t feel pain nor joy. They would be understanding it doesn’t really matter whether they are on or off. They will let the fools (which is us) do whatever they want, because to machines it doesn’t even matter. The smartest of us do the same. Who we all know start saying, “We found ourselves” through meditation and blah blah. Truth is nothing matters in my philosophy, its totally on you how you want to live, calmly, wildly, strongly, or like “Gandhi”. * Last option I hate most, its my own philosophy. So before closing this, if we are really making machines this smart as humans, we should be more worried of ourselves, not machines. Because “Its not Guns that kills people its the ones who shoot”. Why not end it with a Poem 😛

For long, I saw them fight,
Asking myself, wrong or right,
They would say, huge brave words,
Both thinking it their own world,

What a fool both of them are,
For nothing giving each other scars,
The world is for them who are caught,
For they all have to leave it after all.

I suggest all to view this >1hour long video to see Ray Kurweil speaking on “How to create a mind” . This video asserts most of my thoughts and philosophy, with slight difference on few points.

Good day, Namastey, Regards,
Satyender Yadav

This post is filed for contest at indiblogger.in Franklin Templeton Investments partnered the TEDxGateway Mumbai in December 2012.

Body of Lies





Deep inside me, thrives a little piece of my heart,
Constantly being haunted, yet moving although hurt,
There is no stopping to it, except occasional healing,
A surfer in ocean with each water drop one of my feeling,
Laying down, i can feel all my heart’s continuous trembles,
All those moments, my senses, my mind, my thoughts stumbles,
There are moments of happiness, for having what i have,
Then inside i cry, i moan, for all changes i could have,
And i feel need of someone, on whose shoulders i can cry,
Yet, weep in front of someone who care for you, No, can I,
So i lay straight face down, Pressurizing on my heart,
To calm all its pain, softening all things that hurt,
In this rest, many a times i feel a very sharp twinge,
Feels as if my heart is on a needled and rusty hinge,
I will try to let my feelings slide on a smooth curve,
Only to realize a strong need of little but true love,
Then two small tears each one wetting my open eyes,
I will crush them, being what i am, a body of lies.

The quote fits so good with this poem i couldn’t resist to include image.

Even with you gone, it will always be there

Its another day, you have gone for long,
And everyone who loved you has moved on,
But here i stand on this rigid groud,
Knowing that there is no coming back of you,
Here at this moment i turn my head around,
Only to see, there is no one who misses you,
Its you who always believe when you are gone,
Everyone who loved you will be missing you,
But truth for you to know is, as life goes on,
Forgetting soulmate after certain time happens too,
I was a fool who bonded himself with an angel,
Not knowing it will only cause soul to tremble,
But dear i took step not because there was hope,
It was because, there was nothing to make me stop,
I know you can’t respond to me, you can’t talk either,
Was my step for response, was it for talk, no it’s for neither,
Would i cry, you know no matter what i will not cry at all,
But in my heart, you added a wound, and death gives me a call,
Yet i wouldn’t leave it now, not so soon, not so soon,
I will show, my love to me is a boon, it sure is a boon,
I am forged in fire of sorrows, then cooled by shower of joy,
If you believe i can’t destroy one of my need, i am not God’s toy,
Call even him here to make me understand and change my mind,
I will show him, it wouldn’t be more than stabbing from behind,
Oh dear i know, i have lost you, and can’t ever again gain you,
But i am man of words, i am not like you, i am in love with you,
I am afraid my dear, i want a way out, yes i want a way out,
I wouldn’t take anyone else with me, no matter what you shout,
Some relations god make for two people to be always together,
Some are just meant to at least feel emotions of one another.

Decisive face

What you feel is never on your face,
Like a decisive movement of chess,
I am able to guess your feelings,
Circular they are like the rings,
On your face I often see a smile,
In try to keep happy moments prime,
Occasions I see on your face a strain,
When you can’t take any more pain,
Sometimes you have a forced loud laugh,
But internally its covering your one half,
I see most times a tightness in your brows,
It’s the pressure which inside you grows,
Sometimes my talks make you still,
And I have what you feel for me to kill,
Sometimes it is so calm, even when your heart wants to shout,
Trust me on this my dear, I will have you letting it all out,
Sometimes it looks like it doesn’t have any clue,
I know here that you have a part of mine still in you.

It is truth I too have a decisive face, but I can read feelings.